I often joke (joke?) with Chris that in order for him to pick up a new, expensive, time-consuming hobby, he has to drop one.
Well, the other day, as I broke out the work shorts for the first time this year and looked down at the saggy shells that used to be awesome biking legs, I realized I have been doing exactly that. And, in the process, made myself... for lack of a better word... unsettled.
Mommyhood is indeed an expensive and incredibly time-consuming endeavor (not really a hobby, is it?). But one I wouldn't trade for anything in the world. My life is really, truly, and utterly cheesily complete with JJ in it.
Having said that, I went into pregnancy in the best shape of my life. I could bike pretty much any desirable distance without feeling worthless the next day, could hike at 14,000 ft regularly, and I was even climbing at the gym and making it up a few 5.10- routes. I stayed fairly active during pregnancy, vowing not to be that person who gets pregnant and completely loses my fitness and active nature.
Well, as I have now come to realize and accept... there's nothing like a long and difficult labor and delivery to make you not really want to suffer for a while. Even if it is the "fun" kind of suffering.
Then, life takes over and being a full-time working momma and going to grad school and wanting to see my amazing son every spare moment I have seems to shove that whole "take care of me" part of life to the very back corner of the very back room of the House of Priorities in my mind.
I've ridden now and then. I even got into a pretty good groove of riding the trainer after JJ went to bed this winter... for a few weeks. But somehow something else seems to always "come up" -- keeping me from riding and, well, blogging. In all honesty, usually it's not actually anything, just something I find to use as an excuse to myself to justify my laziness.
But as I looked at my completely floppy leg muscles in my shorts the other day, I realized that I have not only managed to neglect myself physically over the last 8 1/2 months, I have also lost that personal snap.
So today, as part of Chris's Mother's Day extravaganza, he took the Sleep Ninja from me (he can fight sleep with the best of them when he wants to), put my clipless pedals back on my singlespeed, and sent me out the door for a ride into the beautiful evening.
It was exactly what I needed.
The silence out in the hills, away from town, was actually deafening. I realized just how long it has really been since I've been out, on my own, away from noise and distractions and just listened.
So... the ultimate point of this blog...
I will start riding my bike again on night's when Chris is around after JJ goes to bed.
I will get those leg muscles back.
I will bring a little more snap back to my life by taking care of myself and letting myself not only be a kickass wife, mom, teacher, and student, but also a kickass ME.
Now it's in writing.
That means I HAVE to do it, right?