Leave it up to life to bring a good woman down...

So I'm needing to vent a little. I'm not really upset, actually I'm in a great mood, but I still need to vent.

SO... I had a meeting with my principal today who basically *strongly* recommended that I go out and find another job. The district is under huge upheaval with a new superintendant that feels she can save the world by changing everything and everyone. The principal told me that all 1st, 2nd, and 3rd year teachers (or that many years in the district) are being looked at very closely by the district to see who stays where they are, who will be moved to different schools, and who will be out of a job all together. Two elementary schools are closing so there are veteran teachers who need to be placed in schools, and thus this problem. I believe that if it was up to my principal, I would stay where I am. She's happy with me and has never had anything but great things to say about me. She told me to line up a job, or two, or ten, even if it means signing contracts with other districts, until this district figures out what they are doing. She gave me some good advice on backing out of already signed contracts if the district will let me stay in my current position afterall, so that was nice. She's a great lady and I respect that she's giving us the heads-up and not just leaving us jobless in May.

SO... I guess it's time I dust off the trusty old resume and start looking for jobs. I feel ok about this whole thing except when I sit down and actually think about it. I hate that in teaching (and in other professions), my employability does not depend on how hard I work, how I perform, whether or not I pour my heart and soul into a very difficult population, but rather on how long I've been working. It's crap, there's no other way to put it. If the district wants to "reinvent" itself with cratchedy old veterans who are stuck in their ways, then great. Have fun. Getting rid of the teachers who bring fresh ideas, flexibility, and some fun back into teaching and learning sounds like a stupid idea. But, then again, this is why I have no aspiration to be a principal or higher. It has to be a terrible job.

If I have to leave, there will be benefits. I will be happy to wave goodbye to this new superintendent who thinks she knows everything. I'm excited at the prospect of possibily teaching in a neighborhood school where my commute would be much shorter when I have kids. But I would really miss these kids. My kids don't have parents who can/will teach them to read. My kids come to school as the one relaxing part of their day when they get to be kids and enjoy life. I recognize that and I don't think everyone does. I know of teachers at my school who will keep their jobs over me, and they don't give a lick about the kids they teach. That kills me.

While I'm still optimistic that I'll have my job next year, I'm looking. I hope to be interviewing soon. I hope to have choices instead of being forced into a job I don't love. In the mean time, I will go to work each day and squeeze as much love into these poor little guys as I can. Ah, life. Great birthday present again this year...