"She's something when she's one of the guys, something else when she's not"

That's a line from a Garth song that gets me thinking every time it's played. I can't decide if I like it or not. I hear it in the song and it trips me up and I don't even hear the rest of the song. I get stuck on trying to figure out whether or not it makes sense. I get hung up on lines from songs, but usually I get over it after hearing the song enough. This one has stuck.

I feel like it describes me and I feel like I wish it didn't.

I'm am, sadly, much more comfortable being one of the guys. I'll never be able to pull off being the girly girl that I'd love to try out being.

It really hit me this weekend when we were over for a dinner at my parents' house with the family. My brother has married the most gorgeous girly girl. She is shorter and always wears big skinny heels. She usually doesn't take them off, but she did this weekend and I couldn't get over the height and thinness of these heels. They were gorgeous and I would LOVE to be able to wear shoes like that and not look like a total idiot. I realized that I will never be able to pull that off. I picked up the shoes, oggling at them, and my brother said "you could wear those, you're a girl". I immediately came back with "yeah, if I was born with sisters instead of brothers" and he looked at me like I had lost it and said "what about that lady that just walked out called your sister?" I don't think he's ever really realized that he and my other brother were the only sibling influences on my life. I pointed out that she moved out when I was 8 or 9 and didn't have any significant female influence other than taking me to get my ears pierced when I was 12. I've always considered myself the girl amongst a family of boys.

I've never been a tom-boy, never been a girly girl. We had a girls' night out at the Boulder Dinner Theater (great show -- "Crazy For You") and had a really good time. I realized that I have to work to feel equally comfortable being with the girls at a musical as I do with the guys riding bikes or working on cars. I think the reason I can't quite grasp the line "She's something when she's one of the guys, something else when she's not" is that it doesn't give me an answer as to which is better. Is she something good when she's one of the guys and then something not as good when she's not? Is she better when she's not? Am I overthinking it and it's really all about sex like most songs? I feel much more comfortable being the one girl amid a group of guys, then I am being in a group of girls. Urgh. Do I like the line in the song? Is it good or bad? I'm confused. Hmmm...