I sat down to write a blog on, hmmm, Sunday about my amazing ride out in the 64 degree weather. It renewed my energy. It was beautiful. I finally got out with the D70 on the bike, admired the Colorado beauty, and even saw Chris's lone Coyote friend Fileepoh (although was too slow hauling out Hoss Camera to snap a picture). I've yet to download the pictures but hopefully that'll happen later this week some time. The weather and the ride were just what my attitude needed.
Prior to that, I sat down on, hmmm, Saturday night, to blog about my most spectacular husband and his 2nd place finish in his first snow race up in Leadville. After waking up crankily about getting hauled out of bed so early, while still sick, on a Saturday morning to sit in ski traffic... we arrived in Leadville and I felt the pull of the race. I immediately regretted being sick and not having my bike with me. In the end, it's good I didn't ride seeing as I'm still -- over a week after getting sick -- still sickish. I also got to see Chris finish with a HUGE smile on his face. Another race in the books where I didn't even have a chance to worry about him or wonder where he was. My sights are set on the night snow race on the nordic course near Leadville on the 9th. It sounds like fun to spin around in the snow and endo into piles of powder. I think Chris is warping my brain slowly.
But alas, neither of the blogs actually got written past the first sentence. So here I sit, slowly catching up after an evening of online masters class bs'ing and an hour of trainer riding while reading boring material for said class.
In my head I've also been kicking around the idea of actually talking about our failed baby making attempts on the blog. It's something I've skirted around on this blog -- fearing it was too much information or something; however, today, as the reality of another opportunity passed set in, I realized that it's a huge reality in my life that no one (minus the husband unit and a few good friends) ever really asks about. But it is what it is... and it definitely weighs more heavily on my mind than anything else. I'm not asking for sympathy and I've yet to go off the deep edge of being obsessed or super stressed. But at the same time we're coming to a point where Chris and I have to make "decisions" and it's always nice to be able to verbalize that type of thing... if not just for our own sake, but also to hear from people who have gone through the same thing, or as a record of our experience for others who will ultimately go through it themselves one day.
Sure, some of it is personal, but don't worry, I'm still me.
I'll start you out easy. Today I bought a basal temperature thermometer. People I know (and actually trust) have been extremely successful with this and it, apparently, can provide helpful information when it comes time to talk more seriously to doctors. One day I'll tell you about my "invisible line of ignorance" that I'm scared to cross for I know I can never return. The thermometer is like putting my toe over the line to test the water on the other side. I'll let you know how that goes.